Right, I’m calling your parents.
Are you disrespecting the house of Pond?! Art thou calling my mother a Scottish kiss-o-gram?
Art thou calling my father a bumbling plastic Roman?!
But he ain’t still a bumbling plastic Roman!
Listen to me.
But he ain’t still even a bumbling plastic Roman though!
I’m hot and bovvered. This incarnation - bovvered. Sweetie. Spoilers. I am hot and bovvered.
My Doctor did once burn up a sun.
My dad is even more dead than mummy’s hair red.
If I’m yet to be River, why then my breasts aren’t done.
If hair be wires, black wires now grow on my head.
Doctor has seen Rose damasked, pink and yellow,
But no such Rose see I in any weeks.
And in some spoilers is there more delight,
Than in the vwooorp that from his box reeks.
I love to hear the Doctor speak, yet well I know,
That Silence hath bring a far more terrible sound.
I grant I never saw a Captain go,
My Doctor, when he walks, stumbles on the ground.
And yet by Gallifrey, I think my love as rare,
As any he snogged with false compare.
Sonic me, alien boy!
|—||Mels, “Let’s Kill Hitler” (via thetardis)|